Facebook and Myspace are social networks.  Don’t forget that.  It is an entire community of people that form these networks and they are constantly evolving.  New features are introduced all of the time on Facebook and Myspace and as these sites change and update it is important that your communication strategy changes as well.  If you want to meet girls on Facebook and Myspace you need a strategy that best utilizes these new features and makes them tools for meeting women.

So I constantly get the question from guys “What is your approach?” “What is your Facebook or Myspace strategy?”  And this post is going to be the answer I have given countless guys to that question.

My approach and strategy constantly evolves and changes not only based on these sites but based on what results I want.  If I would be happy with just one date a week.  I might spend less time on trying to get a large amount of girls and might focus more on making a solid connection with one or two.  If I wanted to fill my dinner plans for every night of the week, I might focus less on individual girls and focus on a broader approach.   This is my CURRENT strategy, however, and it currently fits my personal goals.

I am going to give a step by step practical walkthrough on how I meet girls on Myspace and Facebook.   This will be the FACEBOOK POST and PART ONE of TWO.  I will post my Myspace step by step soon.

 1. I assume since this is more an intermediate tutorial that you have ALREADY set up a Facebook account and have ALREADY set up your profile.  Since this should already be done step one is finding the girls you want to initiate contact with.

I often will search local events  at http://www.facebook.com/events.php  you can search events your friends are attending as well.  If there is a cute girl going to an event you are going to, or if there is a girl that you are interested in going to a local event SEND HER A FRIEND REQUEST.  It doesn’t matter whether you are attending the event too though that might later make a first date easier.

If you do not want to focus on events you can start looking at the “Suggested Friends” you can find these at http://www.facebook.com/find-friends/ .  If you still cannot find any girls you are interested in then you can do a search for a common name.  For example “Erica, Mary, Julie, and so on”  Once you find a few girls which should be pretty quick SEND A FRIEND REQUEST TO THEM   you do not want to friend 20 girls a day, or if you do be sure you go to your profile and remove the news feeds so these girls won’t know you are friending 20 a day.

2.   The Initial Contact.  IF they send you a message first after you send the friend request then just start conversing with them based on what their message says.  This is great it saves you the trouble of initiating the conversation!  If they do not send you a message but they do friend you then I would wait until you see them online on Facebook Chat.  You should initiate the conversation based on their status message or something funny about their profile.  (I will get more into this in step 3)

If they friend you but you never see them on Facebook Chat, then you can send them an initial message.  (I will talk more about this in step 3 as well).  If they do not friend you then MOVE ON and don’t worry about that particular person.    It only took you what 5 seconds to send the friend request anyway.

I do this friend request approach because instead of blasting out a ton of messages to girls to initiate things and hoping they will respond, the friend request first saves you a lot of time sending out all those messages and also weeds out the girls for you.  If they friend you, ASSUME that they are to some degree interested or at least willing to be contacted by you.  Saves a lot of the guess work.

3.  So you friended the girls you are interested in and initiated contact.  Now what do you say?!?  First of all I HIGHLY RECOMMEND that you chat with her on FACEBOOK CHAT first.  Instead of the slow process of back and forth inbox messaging, you can get much further and build a lot more comfort quickly over chat in a few minutes then you could with multiple inbox messages.  Also I highly recommend that you use PROPER GRAMMAR .  It is ok to use abbreviations such as “OMG, LOL, BRB, and so on” but you do not want to use too much slang or too obscure of an abbreviation in the messages.

Ok now that I have gotten that information out of the way, what do you say?!?  Think about her like she is a life-long friend.  If your guy friend was on Facebook that you have known for 10 years of your life and you wanted to talk to him about his status message what would that sound like?  Let’s say his status was “Blake just saw the movie Avatar!”  you would probably say something like “You saw Avatar?  Everyone keeps telling me how it is the best movie ever! Was it good?”

Treat girls the same way.  Even though you have just friended them and have never talked and just met, talk to her like she is your best friend.  Here is what most guys would do in the same situation “Katie just saw the movie Avatar!” they would say “Hey Katie!,   It’s Kevin.  I know we don’t know each other and haven’t met but I am glad you accepted my friend request! I thought you were cute and you saw Avatar? That is great!”  THATS NOT WHAT YOU WANT TO DO.

She friended you, she knows she doesn’t know you, or if she doesn’t then the fact that she thinks she might know you means shes more likely to respond anyway.  You can ASSUME this.  Why remind her of the fact that you are a stranger and that you have never talked??  That’s why you talk to her like you know her.  YOU would say “You saw Avatar?! Everyone keeps telling me how it is the best movie ever! Was it good?!”  You are not saying your name, you are not saying you dont know her, you are assuming she wants to talk to you, if she friended you why wouldn’t she talk to you?!  I would recommend you saying this either in chat or in a message.  CHAT is better.    Just remember to comment on her status or her profile and to keep it short and like you were talking to a friend, non of the introduction to who you are stuff.

4.  So now you have friended her, initiated contact, and sent her a message.  The next step is just respond!!  Once she responds to your message, just converse with her!  I have no idea what topic your conversation will be on, I can’t tell you what exactly to say, this part will have to be pretty much on your own.  Maybe I will do a post on conversational direction later after I complete part two of this.  I will give you some basic tips for online conversation though.    The first conversation you have with the girl should not be sexual and should not be very flirty AT ALL.   The only exception to this is if the girl is really building comfort with you quickly and you can tell she is enjoying the conversation you can begin steering it slightly in a flirty direction.  I recommend though not even flirting much at all until the second conversation or third message.

KEEP THE CONVERSATION VERY POSITIVE AND FUN.   Don’t say anything negative, as far as you are concerned life is good and you are having fun!  If you have a fun and upbeat attitude you will make her have fun and she will be happy talking to you!     Lastly use power words and exclamation marks and smiley faces ALOT.   What I mean by this is over exaggerated language, for example “Totally, Definitely, Awesome, Extremely, and so on”  You should also use lots of exclamation marks in your sentences.  It will keep the energy of the conversation up and will make her more excited.  Lastly smiley faces and “lol” and “haha” are great to use to break tension.  If she thinks you are laughing and having fun you can get away with saying a lot more.  my personal favorite smileys are the basic =)  and =P  which is a tongue out face for more flirty / joking moments.

Example: Her- “what are you up to today? me- “OMG today?! I went to the mall which was awesome but all the girls there were gross! If I get hit on by one more girl in high school or another college freshman I don’t even know what I will do! How’s your day been? Has it been exciting? / Has it been everything you dreamed it would be?!”

This is a VERY exaggerated example but you get the idea, you see how thrilling that response was.  The exclamation marks, the OMG abbreviation, the words used really makes it seem like its very energetic and exciting.

Hope this helps you guys out!!!  I will post my Myspace strategy in Part 2 of this series very soon!  Don’t be afraid to comment below!!  Thanks for reading!     Also I know I haven’t updated this site in well…  honestly… forever.  I plan on adding A LOT of new content though and making some VERY quality posts soon so be sure to check back or subscribe to the RSS feed!

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This is one of the most basic and most important issues when dealing with Facebook and Myspace dating.  How do you contact a girl on Facebook and Myspace?  Now when you first set up a Facebook or Myspace profile I would definitely say you should make sure your profile at least looks decent and gives some information about yourself. 

If your profile is terrible then your success rate contacting any girls will be terrible as well.  OK so you have a profile set up and you found a girl you want to contact so now what do you say?

If you want a magic line that works with every girl it does not exist.  While there may be some very good cut and paste opening messages if I posted them here online they wouldn’t be very good for long especially since everyone would bomb myspace and facebook with them.  So instead of giving you a message to cut and paste I am going to give you the formula for a great opening message to contact a girl with.

EVERY TIME YOU MESSAGE A GIRL ON FACEBOOK AND MYSPACE FOR THE FIRST TIME YOUR MESSAGE SHOULD CONTAIN ALL 3 OF THE FOLLOWING PARTS:

1: HOW YOU FOUND HER PROFILE — The first thing a girl thinks when she sees your message is “How did this guy find my profile?”

You can answer this various ways and there isn’t a correct way just experiment around but an example would be if the girl on myspace or facebook was named Jenny you could say “I was looking for a friend of mine named Jenny and randomly saw your profile”  You should test different lines but you just need to answer the “how you found her profile” question.

2: WHY YOU ARE QUALIFIED TO CONTACT HER– Immediately after she asks herself how you found her profile, she will ask “Why did he send me a message?”

Your response should answer this as well.  It can be any reason but you NEED a reason for contacting her.  An example reason might be  “You seem like a cool person from your profile (at least your taste in music isn’t bad)”

3. A CALL TO ACTION —-  So now she knows how you found her profile, and why you contacted her, SO WHAT??!  why should she even talk to you?!  This is probably the most important part of the message.  YOU HAVE TO GIVE HER SOMETHING TO RESPOND TO.

This call to action can be a statement.  ex “You are trouble! I can tell!”

that statement gives her something to respond to because now she can message you and say “No I’m not trouble! or Yea I’m a bit naughty =P” or whatever.  Either way you want to give her something to respond to.  The above is just a sample of a statement you can make.

More commonly though the call to action is a Question.  A question is better for obvious reasons since you are directly giving her something to respond to.  An example of this could be “So are you cool enough to be my friend?”  It directly gives them something to respond to.  

Now if you put the 3 together you get a basic opening message.

“I was looking for a friend of mine named Jenny and randomly saw your profile.  You seem like a cool person! (at least your taste in music isn’t bad). So are you cool enough to be my friend?”

Now that is just a very basic example and probably not a good message to actually send out but it does cover all 3 bases.  You can include more in an opening message but you want at the bare minimum to include those 3 elements. 

One way some myspace and facebook dating advice gurus say you should do this is by doing a mistaken identity opener like.

“Jenny!  I can’t believe how much fun we had at X bar last night!  You totally were trying to get my drunk to take advantage of me!”

These openers though follow the exact same 3 part philosophy thats why they may work. 

The “I can’t believe how much fun we had at X bar” part tells her 1. how you found her and 2. why you are contacting her  (even though you are pretending to mistake her for someone else it still gives her a reason for you contacting her)  the final statement about taking advantage of you is actually a call to action.  Even though it is a statement saying you were totally trying to…  it is a statement that gives her something to respond to and talk about with.  I personally do not like these openers but some people swear by them so thought I should throw it out there.   Good luck and remember the 3 parts!

1. HOW YOU FOUND HER PROFILE

2. WHY YOU ARE QUALIFIED TO CONTACT HER

3. A CALL TO ACTION

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             I recently added a new Facebook application that deals with dating on Facebook. It doesn’t matter what kind of a Facebook profile layout you have or how nice your profile is, with this application the only thing that people will see is your picture. Now before your mind begins to wonder what I mean by dating, I don’t mean this Facebook application will set you up on dates. It is not some miracle application with girls kissing and a line forming of girls waiting to go out with you. You are actually going to have to do some work (if you call it that.)

            Flirtable is an application which currently has over 220,000 active members. This Facebook application works with the same kind of Facebook profile layout as Hot or NOT. The main difference is instead of saying you want to meet a girl based on her profile picture, you click a button saying you want to “flirt” with her. The girls on the program can also send you private messages if they want to flirt with you. That’s the best thing about this application though you can actually send anyone you see a message. So now comes the all important question…

How Do I Meet Girls Using Flirtable???

That’s the best part all of the advice I have given you for Facebook in general and for messaging girls can all apply here because you are basically just messaging girls! This is just another tool for you to meet single girls that want to meet a single guy and it will give you a very good conversation starter since they were on Flirtable as well! Not only that, but the girls can only see your picture so no matter how poorly you worded your profile. No matter how cluttered your profile is with applications or whatever, the only impression she will get is not from your Facebook profile layout but from your picture and your carefully crafted messages.

Well get to flirting and good luck!!

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Do you want to be the best kisser in the world? This guide will show you a few techniques that might just get you to that point.

Now a good kisser, is one who is willing to be creative and try new things. Sometimes this may be goofy, sensual, passionate, or even lead to funny mishaps.

My goal here and as I am writing this post is to take you average to decent kissers out there and add a few tricks to your kissing arsenal to mix things up. Who knows you may become the best kisser ever!

Heres a few of my tricks: (more…)

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You need to learn how to meet girls on social networking sites if you are single. Why? Whether you have realized it yet or not, and you can quote me on this, social networks are going to be the equivalent of Ebay to the online dating world. By that I mean anyone will be able to get involved easily and the market will be nearly unlimited.

So how can you get in on this? How can you meet women on Facebook?

The answer to this is actually harder to decipher. Hardly any websites are even talking about these concepts besides some of the dating community forums and even worse the few actual websites that do talk about this subject seem to be taking the easy way out.

What do I mean by this? If you type “How to meet girls on Facebook” into Google The first 2 results will both be “How I Meet Girls On Facebook Consistently.” This article is so simple it can be completely summarized in one sentence. Ask your friends on facebook to set you up with their friends. THAT’S IT. The entire article.

What if you have already done this with no success? What if you have very few friends? Do you just get your friends to make the date plans? Do you message the girl on facebook after your friend says she should meet you? What if your friends don’t even know any girls worth dating? The whole article even says you should make new friends before doing this! If you knew how to meet people on Facebook the proper way you wouldn’t need advice on how to meet girls on Facebook in the first place!

Unfortunately the other Google results are almost just as bad. Result #3 is not even worth mentioning considering it doesn’t think Facebook is worth mentioning at all in the article.

Which leads us to result number #4 “Facebook Dating Secrets - How To Meet Women On Facebook.” FINALLY THE FACEBOOK DATING SECRETS ARE REVEALED! I would have definitely gone there sooner if I knew deep dark secrets like “Connect is the next step after you have found a few women who are a friend of a friend then you want to contact them via the send message feature. Warning do not poke or add as a friend until after you have connected with them. There is a big difference between contacting a woman online and actually connecting with her. Does she respond to your message? When then you have made a connection.” I don’t even know why you are still reading this article after that gem of a secret was revealed. I think you are an expert now and you can handle it. If only you had known sooner that Facebook actually had a message feature!!

Now I will give the article some credit though it did give one good tip buried in all the rubble. “You want to make sure you include a call to action in every email you send out to a woman which leads to you both taking the first step.” This was like a ray of light at last. Every Facebook message you send to a girl should have a call to action he is right about this. What is a call to action? Usually it is just a question that she can get excited about so you are more likely to get a response. Some examples could be “So do you like being a graphic design major?” or “I noticed that your profile said you liked XYZ movie, I would have to say my favorite part was when X and Y happened, what was your favorite part of the movie?” A call to action could also be a statement but for meeting purposes I would stick to questions.

Right when I finally thought the article might be getting good he states “Negotiate is the next step, you need to negotiate talking on the phone and going on a date or to a party together. You are the one who is responsible for this part of the proceedings, you are the man you need to take the lead.” Did he ever consider that you are looking for dating advice because you had trouble negotiating umm… DATES!?

This is already getting extremely long but I will give 3 very important tips to remember when you get to this phase: 1. Give a reason besides being a “date” for meeting up. For example you might say “you seem like you are a really cool person we should get together and talk in person sometime.” That is so much less pressure than a nearly blind date and doesn’t sound like nearly as big of a commitment. 2. Give a time frame. Example: I think I could spare 30 minutes to get together either Thursday or Friday afternoon/evening, which day would be better for you? 3. State a location and use the words get together. For some reason word choice makes a big difference and “get together” does not have a negative connotation and yet implies you two will be getting closer. Example: “That is so awesome that we share a passion for (insert subject), we should get together at (insert location/ coffee shop/ wherever) and talk in person sometime. I think I could spare 30 minutes on either Thursday or Friday evening/afternoon. Which day would be better for you?”

Next is two random video results and then the #7 result at the time of writing this is “Facebook: How To Meet Women Online.“ This article actually does do a decent job talking about the initial message you should send specifically in the advice “Keep that first message short and sweet.” The only thing is the article is really short and it says that the first thing you should do is just start poking a lot of girls. While this is better than not contacting new girls at all, from my experience most girls will think of you as just another horny sleazy guy (which you could be but that’s not the point.) Instead you should take his advice and send a short and sweet first message.

The message should be 1-4 sentences and should include a call to action as one of those. For example if you only had one sentence it should be your call to action. Ex: I saw that you are a graphic design major, are you interested more in digital art or painting?. Now this is a very weak example but it is short and it does give her a reason to respond and if you sent out messages just like this tailored slightly like changing the major or whatever you would be surprised that even this short of a message will get ok results. I will go into messaging and other topic more in depth in other articles.

If you enjoyed this article you should also check out Meet Girls Using Facebook HOT or NOT and Meet Girls Using Your Facebook Networks or share this article by using the Share This button below.

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